Do you see me?
by Polkadot Retainer
Summary: Toph is young and just doesn't seem to have any luck when it comes to relationships. One-sided attractions towards Sokka and Zuko, takes place before Ozai is defeated.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: It's been a while since I've been on here, but I was having some Tokka feels and wanted to write a little something. Might be more coming soon. Also, don't own anything At:LA related, just wish I did.

I wasn't the girl to pick flowers or wear fancy dresses or even most days bathe if there wasn't any sort of need to. Katara occasionally muttered about how I was just as gross as any of the boys, and I took it with a sense of pride. Yes, I was like the rest of the boys, not only in my rough mannerisms and hygiene, but I was just as tough as the boys, even stronger than them, at least when it came to Twinkletoes, who was a total wimp, and Sokka, who couldn't do anything to counter my bending. Being thought of as one of them, being better than them, it just proved that my parents were so wrong in all of their assumptions about me. I didn't need them.

Sokka flopped down beside me on the air temple balcony, his body sending vibrations through the ground. I could feel the ebb of my soup through the clay dish. He smelled like sweat and something else… failure. "No meat for the Meathead?" I teased, mouth open, food showing like they'd expect. Underneath the skin, I felt my blood flow more rapidly, heart beat accelerated. I didn't know how the stupid boy did it to me, but he did, and I could only be grateful that I was the only one who knew. Everyone's heart was on display for me, but mine was a secret from the rest. Even Twinkletoes still had some issues with the whole foot-seeing technique. He was a slow learner, and for the most part only used it when we were being attacked.

"It's not like there's any wooly-pigs around here."

I snickered, kicking my feet out.

"Besides, you laze around here all day, getting dirty and not doing much of anything. I'd like to see you find us dinner."

Only a Meathead would make that accusation. I attempted rolling my eyes, not entirely sure if I succeeded in doing it right, but I knew that Sokka probably wouldn't get the message even if I had done it right. "First of all," I started, probably a little bit louder than I should have judging from the way Sokka flinched. I wouldn't let that stop me now though, my anger was too strong. Already I was moving in to a fighting stance, feet firmly planted on the ground. "I spend my day training the _Avatar_, who as you might remember, needs to master both Earthbending and Firebending before he can defeat the Firelord, and besides that, you go out all day 'hunting' and never come back with anything to show for it. We can at least see Aang getting better at his bending." I heard once that when seeing people get angry, they're vision blurs. Well, mine doesn't because of the whole blind thing, but my eardrums start pounding like war drums.

Sokka began pushing himself up as well, "To- -"

I pressed the heel of my foot in to the ground, a simple motion that didn't break my stride in any way. A few feet behind me, Sokka let out a yelp like I expected he would, a result of the rock that had jumped up and hit him in the forehead. "Don't follow me, I'm out." My bowl clattered to the ground.

"Toph, you know what I mean," Sokka called out weakly. "It's not that you don't do anything, just that you don't help around like Katara does. Yeah, you're training Aang, but what about when Zuko is with him or he's exploring temple, what then?" I could feel his voice straining, but all he'd done is blunder his way in to even more offensive training.

I whirled around, facing his vibrations. "So you're saying that since I don't busy myself all day cooking and cleaning up after you boys and then making sure I'm all pretty and presentable, I'm not important?"

"Calm down Toph. Did you forget that you're practically one of us? It's not like you actually care about what we think of you. You're another guy yourself." I bet Sokka was smiling to himself, thinking that he was in the clear now, but he wasn't.

This was the only time I'd taken offense to someone saying I was like the boys. "No Sokka, I am not a boy. Maybe it's hard to tell under the layer of dirt, but I am a _girl_, and just because I am doesn't mean I need to rub it in your faces all the time for you to notice me."

"So that's what this is about," he said, the tone in his voice was one that he used when he thought he understood something.

"What are you talking about Meathead?" I demanded.

"You just want us to notice you for the pretty little girly-girl you are. I'll make sure everyone else knows this."

For once I couldn't tell if he was being joking or serious, sarcastic or sincere, and so I turned around and stomped off. This time when I walked away he didn't say anything. He fell back on to the ground and sat there probably proud of this discovery of character he thought he'd made. Too bad he was wrong. I didn't care if anyone else realized I was a girl. I just wanted Aang to look at me as his Sifu, Toph as another member of the gaang, and for Zuko to think I was more than just some kid. Sokka was already my friend, already the person I was most comfortable around and most used to, the partner for my numerous escapades and the teasing companion I needed, but to me, he was really just a guy, and I wanted him to realize that I was a girl.


	2. Chapter 2

We had retired to the inner temples. Katara told me it was cloudy, as if I didn't notice the lack of heat on my face. I wasn't stupid. I knew it wasn't nighttime yet since we'd only just had breakfast not even two hours ago. I didn't make a remark to her, just shuffled inside and followed the sound of footprints, thinking we might move to a central room and talk or eat. Instead, everyone began moving in different directions as soon as they entered through the main set of doors. The cliff overhead offered some protection, but water droplets would still whip in with the high winds. The pitter-pat of rain sounded and I ducked inside before getting wet.

The rain always messed up my 'sight', thousands of little drops hitting the ground at completely random intervals and sending out vibrations. They made it hard to tell where other people were, people and things, like a hundred different people talking in a room while I only needed to hear one of them. If the ground had already turned to mush, then it really didn't matter. Mud is almost as bad as sand, everything gets all blurry and hard to make out. This is why I hate storms, any storms, but especially thunderstorms, with the bursts of noise like Fire Nation catapults, except louder and with less notice. At least with the catapults, I can hear them wind up, gears shifting and grinding, the men working them. At least I could feel the tremors they sent before the flaming balls are launched.

Even inside I could feel the drops of rain that bounced off of the roof, the leaky drips of water that fell through holes, the slip of it moving down a wall. Thunder boomed again, and I imagined that the entire temple shook. I wasn't willing to admit it, but I longed to be near someone else, someone to distract me from this. No, I wouldn't tell anyone my reasons, but I would search for company where I could, feeling throughout the temple to know where everyone else was. Aang and Katara were with Appa. They'd managed to lure him inside and were brushing his fur or his teeth or something. Haru had disappeared down a maze of tunnels. Suki and Sokka were using this time to… ick. I hadn't seen much of him since she'd been back, not that I wasn't happy about the whole she'd escaped jail and etcetera, but she was still his girlfriend.

This left me with Zuko, Prince Grumpypants, who as far as I was concerned hadn't spent nearly enough time with the coolest member of our gaang: me. I set out to find him, and followed various hallways that led me to a shut door, average sized, and sturdy. It was made of stone, meaning I could easily Earthbend it open, which I did while yelling "Guess who's here on the fun parade!"

He didn't turn around. His breathing was slow and rhythmic, as was his heartbeat. Neither had changed with my arrival. It almost led me to believe that he'd been expecting me, but that wasn't possible. I knew my step was silent, lending itself to my many sneak attacks on Sokka. Zuko couldn't have known I was coming, and even as the moment passed awkwardly, he made no move to acknowledge my presence. For all I knew he was staring at the wall or meditating or asleep or something.

"What are you doing?" I asked, slowly treading towards him. As he shifted his body, I felt for the first time a slip of paper in his hand. Beside him, he'd made enough room for me to sit, so I did, gruffly and all in one motion. "Is it a picture? Another warrant?" I was used to these supposed flyers depicting warrants for our arrest, either because of association with Aang, or from being left to our own devices in certain _situations_. I hoped they got my face right if that's what he had.

Zuko hesitated before speaking, but his voice was guarded. "No, nothing like that. It's a painting." He paused again. "It's a painting of my mother."

I wanted to prompt him, push him for more information, but I didn't know how to ask about it. It was common knowledge what had happened to his mother, or perhaps it was common knowledge that nobody actually knew what had happened to his mother besides that she was gone. It had to be a sore spot for him. I didn't want to push too hard or make him retreat back into his shell. Although I'd been on good terms with him since he'd joined us, he'd yet to open up to me about anything personal or invited m when he decided to run off wherever. Did it bother me? Yeah. Duh. Of course. Why wasn't I a good enough companion for him and his life-changing adventures? Why were everyone else's problems so much more important than mine? I had issues too.

A burst of thunder pulled me out of my thoughts in a way that was entirely unpleasant. I'd tried to keep myself from jumping, but I still shook at the initial sound. Finally I asked the question I'd wanted to most. "What did she look like?" The whole blind thing did become problematic in situations like this, and I guess Zuko had forgot judging by the way he shifted around uncomfortably.

"Umm… yeah. Just give me a second." His fingers began drumming against his leg, joining the sound of raindrops in a way that was for once soothing. "I don't know where to start exactly." His voice had softened to a gentle murmur. "She was beautiful, and kind. You could see it in her eyes." He stopped again, abruptly.

I waved it off. "I know, I know. I'm blind. Keep going."

So he continued. "She had a way of attracting people and animals, an air to her that let them no she wouldn't hurt them. And she had a way she would wear her hair, half of it pinned up and the other half down because she liked the feel of her hair around her shoulders. She told me that once. Her voice. It was like everything good in the world turned in to sound, and she would sing to me when it was stormy outside." His voice trailed off, this time not so sharp.

"She sang?"

I think he might have nodded at that point, not realizing how difficult it would have been for me to tell if he had or not. He let out the affirmative verbally, and then we sat quietly for another few minutes, while I thought about my own mother and he probably continued to think about his own. Mine had never sung to me. She'd barely touched me to be honest, held me at arm's length as though my blindness was contagious, all the while showering me with gifts her and father had bought for me, fans and dolls and things that I could play with safely and alone. Occasionally she had the servants bring flowers to my room, but she probably did it out of habit and not because the faint smell of flowers was so strong for me that I could smell them for weeks, even after they'd began wilting. When it stormed, my dad was often the one who came to me and stroke my hair, silent all the while.

"Could you sing me something… maybe?" I asked quietly, almost self-consciously. I didn't want Zuko to think that I was a wimp or weird or anything. Surprisingly though, he agreed to it, and soon enough his voice echoed through the room, low and gruff.

_Rest little prince of mine  
Do not worry yourself this time  
The storms are ours to cherish  
A sense of noble pride  
Lighting streaks across the sky  
Bends to no strong will  
You are not that different  
Little prince of mine_

His words lulled me to a sense of restfulness, and I could only imagine what it would sound like coming from a mother. Zuko on the other hand, twitched with a nervous energy now. "Are you alright?" I asked.

"No, I'm fine," he replied, but I could practically feel his sense of relief when there was a sudden knock on the door. "Come in," he called.

Aang appeared at the door, asking him to come see a trick he'd taught Appa in the past twenty or so minutes. Zuko literally jumped at the chance to leave the room, which I'd failed to understand his reason for, so I sat there baffled as he exited the room with the avatar. "Hey, we still need to have that life-changing adventure!" I yelled out. The door shut less than a second later, but I was sure he'd heard me, and I wasn't kidding either. Everyone else had got to go on some sort of trip with him and I wanted my turn.

* * *

A/N: So this chapter did focus more on Toph and Zuko's relationship as I saw it near the end of the third book, a bit of the awkwardness between the two and Toph almost exclusively seeking out Zuko's company. Also, while Avatar the Last Airbender isn't mine, I did create the lullaby that Zuko sings. Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
